i realized at work last night, how intense my obsession is for washing my hands. i fucking wash my hands every chance i get. ive got my routine down. i run the hot ass water, get soap, totally lather my hands and rinse, then i dash cold water on them. its fucking weird as shit. oh wait, im just weird as shit.
man, i really need to stop drinking coffee. i went to starbucks today. and i had 2 cups of coffee like 20 minutes ago. i get so antsy and wired. like i cant stop shaking and im all jittery and wide-eyed. im addicted to coffee. any type, ill drink it. and i even drink coffee before i go to school now, and when i dont drink it, its like i have headaches and im all jumpy in a bad-mood. that shit aint cool.
so i was watching this thing called i love the 80s and there was this guy from some tv show that kept cracking mad jokes on the things that they were talking about. omg, i couldnt stop laughing. i totally wanted him but he was all like a grown up and stuff. hahaha older dudes rule. but anyway, they talked about tetris and cops. by far, the best things to come out of the 80s. i remember some time last year, we all got stoned and went to alexs house and played all of teds video games. and i couldnt stop playing tetris, and everytime i would switch of with that girl morgan, i would play longer and i would win. and cops. omg, i remember when i was really little, my mom and i used to watch it. like every night, what a weird family viewing bonding show. and i remember watching cops at evas house and she fell asleep on the toilet!!!!! oh the fucking memories.
i need to work on my persuasive speech this week. my parents are going to new jersey on tuesday to thursday. i have to deal with my brothers and their friends. there are always a bunch of dudes in my house. today, my mom was at work and my dad was home and my brother and all of his friends were in the garage and i had to iron my clothes, so they went inside and crowded around the computer. then i go in the living room where my other brother and his little friends are playing playstation. so i go in my room and i walk out and and theyre all in the hallway. too many dudes. lexie said my older little brother looks like jack osbourne. and he totally does. theyre both fat with curly tops and glasses and a bunch of camy clothes. and she said, omg youre kelly osbourne because you guys have the same hair. everyone knows im a closet kelly osbourne fan.
so i lost my class ring. its in my room somewhere. i lost my ATM card. its definitely in my car somewhere. i almost lost my life. i saw some kid from my school and waved to him, and almost had a near-death experience and almost head-on collision. im definitely losing my mind from losing all my shit. and i forgot to buy shampoo. goddamnit.
there is something going on in my head. i cant stop thinking about it. its weird. i dont like it. and its not anything new. something that ive been thinking about for like 8 months now. it gets intense. i think its the worst thing ever. i think it would be beautiful. i think it would be a disaster. i think it would be perfection. one day, im gonna stop thinking.
therapy with brandy.
the game of who needs who the worst,